Some people know what they’re going to do with their life early on, not so with me. It probably was sometime in the middle of my sophomore year at Anderson College that I began thinking about the teaching profession. It kind of came down to what else could I do with the History and Government classes that I enjoyed so much?
I took a couple of education courses, which I wasn’t too impressed with. The most notable memories from the classes were: how to change the bulb in the filmstrip projector, how to thread the movie projector and how to the run the ditto machine. If you are having trouble visualizing these mechanisms you will have to get a copy of Ancient Teaching Technology.
I did my student teaching at Central Jr. High, which included most of the slums of Anderson. After teaching two classes for five weeks I was declared fit to teach. While I’m not sure how prepared I was, I did learn a few lessons that would come in handy during my career.
Lesson number one: you never know what a junior high student will do. “Leroy isn’t going to be in class for awhile,” another student reported as he came in the door. “Why not?” I stupidly asked. “Because when Mary (who was known for her short skirts) bent over at her locker to get out some books, Leroy took his thumb and shoved it up her________. I’ll let you fill in the blank. During my coaching career I contemplated using that technique with my high jumpers.
Lesson number two: you never know what a junior high student will say. As I was teaching my first lesson, a hand shot up in the back of the room. Feeling pretty good that I had stimulated a question, I asked Billy what was on his mind. His question was, “Mr. Newell, do you know that your zipper is down?” Feeling the heat rising on my face I looked down to see that he had made a correct observation. Later on in my career, I would have just chalked it up to a good technique to keep kids awake in class. Since I’m on the subject, later on at the Madison Jr. High, we had a German teacher who took great pride in his German and dressing nicely. One day he came into the teacher’s lounge after visiting the adjoining restroom, with his pink shirttail protruding through his zipped up fly. Not one to miss a good opportunity, one of our veteran teachers, Vernon, let go with, “Skipper, I believe your Wiener schnitzel is showing.”
Lesson number three came from a junior high colleague Harold, he was always telling us that, “A happy child is a happy child.” I never did figure out what that meant. In fact I never did figure out a lot of things about Harold. He also came up with another saying that we invoked quite often, “There is nothing dumber than a kid.” One time during my prep period I found him in the hallway standing by the closed door of his classroom full of students. I casually asked him what he was doing and he replied, “Things got so bad, I kicked myself out of class.” Later Harold found another line of work.
I had no luck getting a teaching job the first year out of college. Jobs were scarce since all those guys who went to college to stay out of Vietnam were graduating and flooding the job market. Things weren’t looking much better the second year when, towards the end of July, I heard that Madison was looking for a History teacher and more importantly a Head Track Coach. I quickly sent down an application and the very moment that the principal opened up my letter the principal who I did my piddly junior track job for was sitting in his office. He must have given me the nod because I was invited for an interview the next day and when we got to Madison they had an unexpected resignation in Elementary. Nancy and I both were hired and we realized that this must be the place God wanted us to be.
We moved our entire earthly belongings in our two-seat MG convertible pulling the smallest U Haul that they made. Now we couldn’t move Nancy’s closet in that amount of space.
In the early 70’s, like now, everyone was looking for new dynamic ways to improve education. Our Junior High was built with few walls and the kids didn’t have a set schedule. The theory was that the students were told what they needed to accomplish and then it was up to them to decide when and how they were going to do that. We weren’t to build buildings that would interfere with free movement of their minds or bodies. This was the same time that smoking marijuana became popular. After a couple years of this, we began to build very expensive walls and taizers were eventually developed.
The saying that, “Those who can, do, and those who can’t, teach,” comes from someone who never experienced junior high. When you walk in the door you can feel the hormones bouncing off the walls. One thing a teacher had better learn quickly is not to take themselves too seriously. Ninety per cent of the students, probably more like a hundred per cent, are there to have a good time. Actual learning is something they think is ok if it doesn’t get in their way of having fun. The trick is let them think that they are just having fun but in reality they are learning. It took a while for me to develop it, but eventually my philosophy became, “You have to reach them to teach them.” That doesn’t mean I was successful in reaching all of them. Some of them just drove me crazy! My own saying was that “all jr. high students are either squirrels or nuts, it just depend on the time of the day.” But the best thing about teaching junior high was that it was never boring, something weird was going to happen almost every day. If you could just let yourself laugh at the absurdities of this age group and just shake your head when they acted stupid, it was a pretty good job.
We could write a large book every year on the funny things that happened but I’ll just give you a few.
We had a boy who would ask to go to the restroom and then would never return. It took awhile, but we found out that he would go and sit on the john sometimes for several class periods. Jim Bogo, the shop teacher, nicked named him, “Red ringer.” unfortunately for him the name and the seat stuck.
A black kid, named Eric (this was before we had Afro-Americans) was learning how to play Euchre. When he didn’t play the right card one of the other kids told him he reneged. The room erupted with cards and chairs flying about and with Eric shouting, “You can’t call me a nigger, you can’t call me a nigger.” It became a vocabulary teaching moment. Eric could be a lot of fun but he did have a habit of bugging his classmates. During a standardized test, when everything was extremely quiet, all of sudden there was this loud “smack,” of flesh hitting flesh. Looking up, I saw Eric holding his hand up to his eye in pain, and I immediately realized that someone had had enough. Since no one was screaming I evoked another lesson that I had learned. Sometimes it’s best to leave things alone, so I did. One more story on Eric. It seems he was short of cash so he took to stealing A. V. items from the library where he was an aide, and selling them on the street. To keep anyone at home from getting his loot he befriended one of our unsuspecting secretaries in the office to hold his cash. It was an embarrassing moment for our staff when the story all unraveled. I think Eric now works for the government.
One of the best things that I got to do at the Junior High was to give the morning announcements when I was running the daily intramural program. Along with legitimate announcements, I was always sneaking in bogus reports to see if anyone was paying attention. It was a lot of fun. When the science class lost Monty the python for about two weeks, I got to give the snake report describing where he had last been seen. When I found out that one of our faculty members had a phobia about snakes, I made sure Monty had last been seen in the vicinity of her room. This went on long after the snake had returned to his nice warm home where mice were fed to him regularly.
All teachers have their moments when they lose it and I wasn’t exempt from losing my cool. Our principal, Larry Cummings, called me into the office and asked me if I had really told one of the Romans boys to “get off his fat ass and get to work.” I don’t think I’ve ever said that to anyone before but I must have been thinking it, because that’s exactly how it came out. Guilty as charged. I think it was in my mind because every time I saw him in class my mind flashed back to when I had been behind him in the fast lane of the four-lane highway. He was doing 25 mph on his mo-ped and his extra gluteus maximus was droopped over both sides of his machine’s seat. Thankfully Larry was as forgiving with me as he was with the general population.
I lost it another time when I told some kid to do something in the hallway. He took a swing at me, knocking off my glasses. Messing with my glasses had always been an ignition point from all the way back in grade school and the next thing I knew I had the kid on the floor, pushing his face into the floor. Sorry to say, Larry was there so save the kid’s life.
Intimidation is a handy weapon in the teacher’s arsenal. Chewing gum in class was one of the major infractions in the 70’s and 80’s – oh, for the “good old days.” I had my own rule; if I can see actually see gum (bubbles, stretching, noises like popping) then they had to trade for a piece of ABC (already been chewed) out of my gum jar and put it in their mouth. I really can’t remember any kid making the exchange but just having the jar of multi-colored specimens on my desk was a deterrent. Of course it helped when I flat out lied to them about a kid in the previous class who had made the switch and then pointed to a particular piece of Juicy Fruit. I still have middle-aged people come up to me in the grocery store reminding me about the gum jar.
Towards the end of my career I had a group of tough kids. When a boy would make some remark about doing me some bodily harm, I would puff up my chest and say that if I was going to get fired for getting into a fight with a student I was going to make it worth my while. Most of them looked at me like I was nuts, which was part of the desired effect. At least I didn’t get as bad as a fellow government teacher about fifty miles to the west of Madison. He suffered a heart attack in class and when the EMTs lifted him up on the stretcher, a loaded handgun fell out of his pocket. A later search of desk found another loaded gun for back up. The good news was that he did recover; the bad news (for him) he was forced into early retirement. Now he does commercials for the N.R.A.
When you stay in the same job for thirty-three years many strange and often terrible events are bound to happen. It didn’t take long for the tragedies to begin. During my second year, one misty dark October afternoon, one of our buses pulled out on a highway never seeing the semi truck that struck it broadside, splitting the bus in half. The majority of the five kids killed were from our Junior High.
In the next spring of 1974 our community was decimated by tornados, totally destroying one of our elementary schools and damaging others. I was trying to hold track practice when we saw the swirling dark mass and was forced to take shelter. A fellow teacher, Mike Foley, had left school an hour earlier to take his wife to the hospital to deliver their first child. On the way out of town they saw the funnel cloud bearing down on them, so they came back to town to take shelter. They survived by getting under the dining room table while the house was destroyed around them. They eventually did make it to the hospital for a safe delivery. Dennis, one of our science teachers got chased into a church basement by the same tornado only to endure having the building thrown in on top of him, killing several of his fellow refugees and himself being severely injured.
There is nothing worse than coming to work knowing that there was going to be an empty chair because of some heartbreaking event. I had several kids killed in traffic accidents, and a girl was “accidentally” shot by her boy friend. Probably strangest was when I was at the High School one of my students who played baseball, was hit in the chest with a ball thrown from the outfield, stopping his heart.
In a small rural town like Madison you would think that major crime would be a rarity. We were always surprised when a criminal event occurred in our beautiful quiet burg. One of our art teachers kept track of all the murderers he had in class. By the end of his 30 plus years of teaching the total had grown to eleven, with two of the criminals meeting their end with “Old Sparky.”
We had three girls from our Junior High kidnap a rival girl from another town and drive around with her in the trunk of their car all night. Eventually they killed her and then tried to burn the body outside of town. We had another girl who had her mom killed so she could inherit her money.
Now for the most bazaar. While I didn’t see this personally, I did know all the participants involved in the story. We had a nice family that lived in a nearby very small community of Lancaster. The head of the family was a fine Christian man who was a lay preacher. His neighbors asked if they could borrow his pony so they could plow their garden. Being a man who practiced what he preached, he quickly agreed to the request. After the pony wasn’t returned in a few days he decided that he better go claim his property. As he approached the neighbor’s house he was dismayed to see his pony’s hide lying over the fence. They had eaten it for dinner. This was the same family that when the school truant officer came to inquire about continual absences, she happened to notice the family dog in the corner of the room nursing a large litter of pups. What really caught his eye was that in the midst of litter was the infant of the family trying to get his share of the liquid refreshment. There are other stories about this notorious family but I’m afraid that in telling them I might accidentally slip up and mention their real name. If I did that I’m afraid I would have to go into the Witness Protection Program.
Enough of the tragic and bazaar. I said earlier that I truly believed that Lord put us in Madison for a reason. A big part of that reason is the Fellowship of Christian Athletes. While I had been a member of F. C. A. in college, I had no intention of doing anything with it afterwards, but God had other plans.
A couple of months after we arrived in town several guys asked me if I would help them get an F.C.A. chapter started. And so started a twenty five year ministry that became very important to me and my family. F.C.A. is a great vehicle for athletes and coaches to express their spiritual values. It gave me chance to get into the homes and lives of students that is almost impossible to do in the classroom.
We took boys and girls across the country to summer camps where they met professional, college and other high school athletes who were not ashamed of their faith, and lived their lives accordingly. They brought back to our community the confidence that they too could live the way Christ would have them to. We were able to bring in some “big name” athletes to give their Christian witness to our community. Archie Griffin came to speak, who up until this writing is the only person to win two Heisman Trophies. Hall of Famer, Reggie White, also came to speak to us. I used the philosophy of “the worse they can say is no” when asking them to come. And of course capitalism played its part when we paid their fees.
I can’t honestly say that all the kids who were part of F.C.A. held on to their values, but looking back, enough did to make the efforts very worthwhile. After twenty-five years the group became harder to keep together. One of the best reasons was that many of the churches had progressed to full time youth ministers and so the strong Christian kids became more active in their local congregations. Another factor was that I had lost some of my energy that is needed for the youth ministry. Any ministry to young people today is sorely needed and I hope someone picks up F.C.A. in Madison.
I guess since I learned that taking kids out of town with F.C.A. was not that hard and never having serious problems, I got into taking my school classes on field trips. Taking my Government classes to Indianapolis, our State Capital, to meet their legislators became a regular event. Some of our kids had never been more than fifty miles from town. When the terrible bus accident occurred across the river from us where a drunk driving the wrong way on the interstate and killed 25 kids in a fiery crash, we went to the trial. The students found out that it was nothing like what they see on T.V. One of the results of that horrible accident is that all buses now have an escape hatch on the roof and at least one pop out window on each side.
My two best class trips were to Washington D. C. The first one was to the impeachment trial in the Senate of Bill Clinton. Because it happened so quickly, in a week’s time we organized the trip. We flew to Baltimore, took the train to D.C. and sat in on a rare moment of U. S. History. The next trip was better planned but circumstances made it a little more difficult. Four weeks before the trip, planes went into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. Air travel stopped for a couple of weeks and then as things began to get better, Anthrax was discovered in D.C., shutting down most of the government buildings. With some parents filled with trepidation we went anyway and basically had the town to ourselves. People on the street kept asking us what were we doing there. Fortunately for us, the main attractions opened up the day we arrived.
I was always trying to get my students out of their desks and found that one way was to take them on fake field trips, which were far less costly than real ones. One of my favorites was the trip around the pyramid. I figured out that the Great Pyramid of Gaza would just fit between our Junior High and High School which was mostly parking lot. I would put on a bathrobe, drape a towel over my head, call myself Abdul Newell and take the class around the imaginary ancient structure. As we traveled around I would point out various aspects of this “Wonder of the Ancient World.” Some kids would get into it and ask questions about the construction. Others thought I was plain nuts and would hide their faces when strangers came by and saw this group looking upward, led by a man in a bathrobe pointing into the empty sky.
Once while making our tour, the Goodyear Blimp came right over us and where the middle of the pyramid would have been, then it turned ninety degrees left and disappeared. Why it came and where it went we never found out. Abdul chalked it up to those crazy American tourists.
I also dressed up as a Jewish holocaust survivor named Abraham, and took the kids out in the woods to the railroad tracks that ran near our school. Abraham would welcome the tourist students to Trabinka, Poland, the site of one of the worst extermination camps. He would explain how as a young boy he had made the train trip to the extermination camp and survived while he watched his family and tens of thousands of other fellow Jews go to their horrible deaths in the gas chambers and then to the crematorium. Sometimes Abraham could work up a few tears if he really got into it. Over the years I never had a past student come up to me and say, “I remember what we learned on page 58,” but I have had several recall some of those weird trips.
I think I got out of the teaching profession at just the right time. I had a habit of doing anything that popped into my mind, sometimes that wasn’t always best thing in the school setting. When we were discussing W.W. II one of my students told me about a sniper rifle that his grandfather had picked up during the war. Without thinking, I asked him if he would bring it in. The next day I opened the backdoor of the building for his mom and we had a great time examining this fine weapon. Today I’m sure that the S.W.A.T team would have surrounded the building and FOX news would have been hovering in helicopters if someone had reported that a weapon was in the building.
One spur-of-the-moment idea that did work out pretty good started with a lecture on the Sistine Chapel. While showing pictures of paintings on Michelango’s ceiling, one the students asked, “Why don’t we paint our ceiling?” I remember my own student days when I was so bored in class I tried to count those small holes in the acoustical tile. When I couldn’t think of a good reason not to, we began painting our ceiling tiles with historic scenes or people. One kid who never did a thing in class and I’m not sure he ever graduated, got into recreating “The Touch,” where God reaches out and creates man with his finger. He mixed his own paint from left-overs that kids brought in from home and it turned out to be a masterpiece. I took those tiles to the High School when I transferred there and then brought them home when I retired. They’re now in the ceiling above my pool table in the basement.
I liked getting kids into doing special projects. I found that some of the students, who were pretty bad with the book stuff, had other talents if given the chance to be creative. If they were good, I would try to get them to donate them to the room, which spiced it up quite a bit. Some of them I kept to for my own personal agenda. A three-foot Jesus on the Cross, made from paper-mâché and a two tablets of the Ten Commandments were prominently displayed. I kept other projects too just to keep the A.C.L.U. off my back. One project I missed out on was a wonderful original model of the first airplane done by a boy named Orville Wright, and yes he did claim to be a direct descendant of the famed aviator.
One thing you could count on when you have a thousand kids in a school is that there would be some fights. For the guys, it was usually mother fights. Someone would say something about someone’s mother and punches would fly. Usually after they got in a couple swings they would immediately break it up when a teacher stepped between them. With the girls it was different. These confrontations usually revolved around a boyfriend and the ignition point was when bitch and whore was screamed. We always hated to break up the girl fights because they wouldn’t quit. The best technique I learned was to grab a handful of hair and start pulling them away. They always came quickly because it hurt and for my behalf it didn’t leave any marks for them to complain to the administrators and parents about. You also didn’t mistakenly grab any body parts that you could be sued for later.
After the Culumbine tragedy occurred in Colorado where a couple of students killed more than a dozen of their classmates, people began to look at their public schools differently. Instead of a safe haven, they saw them as places where the worst can happen.
Actually, even after these horrible incidents, schools are still the safest place for young people to be. Less bad things happen at school compared to if they were home or on the roads.
Right after that episode happened we had a nut call in a bomb threat against the high school to the police during the night. The state police came in and did a thorough search with their dogs and pronounced the building bomb free. Just to make sure, all the doors were locked except two and every kid’s bag was searched when they came in the building in the morning. I was manning one of the doors when I spotted Jimmy, one of my students, coming across the parking lot with a microwave on his shoulders. Jimmy who didn’t know what the situation was, couldn’t understand what the fuss was all about. He was just going to make some ‘smores in ag class.
Halfway through the morning word came down that we had another bomb threat so we began herding the students to the gym. Which I thought was dumb because how did they know that that was a safe area? I had opened some of those lockers before and I was sure that some of them were at critical mass. Somehow word got out in the community that we were being attacked and mothers began arriving, screaming for their babies. Of course no bomb was found, and it’s still my contention that no bomb threat, phoned into a school has ever gone off in the history of our county. Think about it.
The next day the police were at my classroom door. It turned out that one of my students had left after my class, went across the street and called in the threat. It does my heart good knowing that I may have inspired one of my students to note-worthy things. Maybe he just thought that the best thing that could happen in my class was for it to blown to bits. He may have been right.
I thoroughly enjoyed my teaching career but found that this old dog had trouble adapting to the new demands of the job. When twenty to thirty per cent of the kids are diagnosed as having some kind of learning disability I found I didn’t have the talent to teach to their individual needs. I hope the better-trained new teachers will be able to do the job and I’m sure they will.

